Rick's Nightmare
by jonsamforever
Summary: Rick killed Shane in the field. Or did he? If I get some reviews I'll add more chapters. Disclaimer: I do not own anything this is just my tribute to the best show in the world.
1. Chapter 1

**Rick's Nightmare  
**

**Rating: M for language  
**

Summary: Rick kills Shane. Or did he? Takes place during the events of "Better Angels" (Season 2 episode 12) Rick/Shane, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing, Slash

"I'm a better man than you Rick. I'm a better father than you. But you just come back here and you just DESTROY everything!"

Rick stabs his best friend in the chest and blood pours seemingly endless from the wound. "This was you not me. You did this to us. This was you not me! Not me!" Rick sobs. Rick suddenly bolts up inside his tent. He hears laughter outside the thin nylon. It's Andrea and Carol. Breathing heavily, he reaches up to feel his forehead is soaked with perspiration. His sheets are soaked with sweat and his chest hair is matted and wet. He had fallen asleep in his tent. Herschel had given him some pain pills earlier because he was still sore from his fist fight with Shane. The pills hit him a lot harder than he thought they would and knocked him out cold. "It was just a bad dream, Rick." He says to himself reassuringly. He suddenly sees a figure appear at the tent's opening. He looks up to see Shane. His tight cargo pants tucked into his boots. His dark, curly hair all shorn off just like it was the day before.

"C'mon buddy, nap times over, we gonna do this now or what?"

"Shane, oh god Shane." He says as he jumps up from his sheets and hugs the man.

"Hey buddy what's got you all upset?"

Rick pulls away. "It's nothing I just….I had a dream."

"What?" Shane asks amused with a big grin on his face. "Aww c'mere buddy," Shane says as he pulls Rick back in for another hug. Rick squeezes Shane so tight he almost knocks the wind out of him. "Okay, okay buddy" Shane says laughing as he pulls away one last time. He places a hand on Rick's chest and teasingly runs his fingers through Rick's chest hair. "Jesus man your soaking wet"

" I know man I don't know what happened."

"What do you say you get dressed and we check on the prisoner?"

"Prisoner?"

"Randall dummy. Hello? earth to Rick," Shane says as he waves his hand in front of his best friend.

"Oh yeah right of course. Check on the prisoner."

After Rick gets dressed the two men head towards the barn where Randall is locked up. They unlock the door and look down at Randall, handcuffed and blindfolded. "We really gonna take him out again then and drop him off somewhere?" Shane says.

"Right idea last time poor execution." Rick says.

"Rick, you know how I feel about this but if this is what you want then you know I'm with you."

Rick pauses and looks at Shane. He can't take his mind off that horrible nightmare. "Shane you don't think you're a better man than me do you? A better father than me?"

"What?" Shane says with a confused smile on his face. "What's gotten into you today buddy?"

"It's nothing. I.." He stops and walks outside the barn waving at Shane to follow him. He slowly pushes the barn door closed, "Shane I think we need to talk."

"About what man."

"You know Lori's pregnant now and… and I think there's a good chance the baby might be yours."

Shane sighs, "I know.. Lori told me today she didn't even know whose baby it was."

"She said that?"

"Yeah"

Both men stand quiet for a moment in silence not knowing what to say. Rick breaks the silence first. "Shane, you know, if this baby is yours I…I want you to be a part of its life. I want you to be the daddy."

"Rick, I don't know what to say man. I was gonna say that if the baby is mine I want you and Lori to raise it as your own. Give it all the love you gave Carl."

"Shane you know I couldn't do that to you. Now lets just think about this logically for a second. If the baby is yours we should all raise it together."

"Rick, Lori told me if the baby is mine it's never gonna be mine. And that I'd just have to accept that. Now I know it will be hard for me. Shit man, more than hard it would kill me, but I just don't have any other choice."

"I can talk to Lori, Shane, reason with her. She'll come around, trust me."

"You know she did say she was sorry to me today."

"She did, when?"

"When you were asleep I was out fixing the windmill into a lookout like you wanted. She came out to me and told me she was sorry and thanked me for taking care of her and Carl. For getting them out of Atlanta safely. I told her she didn't have to thank me."

"Why did you tell her that?"

"Because I didn't do it for her…I did it for you brother."

Rick's face goes blank for a moment. He doesn't know what to say or do. He feels the tears well up in his eyes and he pulls Shane into him and hugs the man. Squeezing him for dear life. "Thank you Shane..for everything."

"Rick, it's okay man. He says as he returns the hug tightly and runs his hand over Rick's hair. His fingers curl into Rick's thick mane, "You know I wouldn't have done it for anyone else but you. You're my brother man, I love you."

Rick closes his eyes lids tight and tears start to flow freely down his cheeks now. "I love you Shane." He says through sobs. "You've done so much for me and I never even thanked you, not even once. Instead we've just been fighting and I've been so awful to you."

"Shh hey man you're not the only one now. You're not the one who threw a wrench at me" he says laughing. Rick just holds Shane tighter, buries his face into Shane's shoulder and sobs harder.

"Shhhh" Shane says as he comforts his best friend. "It's alright Rick, it's gonna be alright now. Jesus what did you dream about man?" Rick pulls away slowly and wipes his tears on his sleeve. "Oh it was nothing. Just a scary dream is all."

Shane reaches out and places the palm of his hand behind Ricks head. He runs his hand through Rick's hair again. "So soft" he says out loud.

Rick laughs. "Well, softer than yours at least" he says as he puts a hand behind Shane's head and feels the stubble from his buzzcut. They both laugh together when they hear a voice from inside the barn.

"Hey can I get some water here? I'm very thirsty" Randall says in a thick southern accent. Shane and Rick look at each other and almost crack up.

"What do you say we give the man some water?" Shane says.

"Alright fine." Rick says. "But then we gotta take him out again."

"Fine by me." Shane says.


	2. He Seems Like a Good Kid

"What do you say we just keep him like Dale wanted? Dale was right. We've got to find another way. We can't let ourselves do this. We'd become savages." Rick says to Shane.

"Rick I don't know, it's a different world now."

"But we have to have faith….in humanity You trust me don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well I'm asking you to trust me some more now. Here, take the cuffs off him" Rick throws Shane the keys.

Shane catches the keys. He begrudgingly leans down, pulls the kid forward and unlocks the handcuffs.

"Ahh" Randall makes an audible noise of relief as the handcuffs fall to the ground. Still blindfolded, he stretches his arms in front of himself, his writs all swollen and bloody. "Jesus" Rick says as he pulls out a bottle of water and pours it over Randall's wrists. "Oh, thank you" Randall says.

"Shut up" Shane says

"Shhh" Rick looks at Shane, trying to keep him in line. Rick holds out the bottle to Shane. Shane looks at the bottle for a few seconds before he reluctantly grabs it and continues to pour it over the boy's bleeding wrists.

Randall smiles excitedly, "I want you guys to know you won't regret this."

"Yeah we'll see about that." Shane says. "Tilt your head back," Shane moves the opening of the water bottle to Randal's lips. Randall feels the bottle and immediately leans forward and sticks his tongue out. Shane tilts the bottle up and slowly lets the water pour into Randall's wanting mouth. The young man eagerly drinks the water, his mouth and lips instantly feel less parched. The oversized blindfold seems to engulf his small head. Shane looks up at Rick and their eyes meet. Rick watches intently as Shane holds the bottle at crotch level as Randall sucks on the end of the plastic container. Rick's mind thinks of dirty thoughts and he tries to push it to the back of his head.

"Good, that's good." Rick says as he watches the final drops leave the bottle into Randall's orifice. He crouches down face to face with Randall. "Okay I'm gonna take this blindfold off. You have Dale to thank for this. "

"Dale?"

"Never mind"

"How bout we put him to work. Shane, take him out and you two can finish making the windmill into a lookout."

"Well I already finished doing that."

"You did?'

"Yeah, today while you were asleep." He nudges his friend playfully

"Well let's take him out in the clearing in the woods and he can help us collect some firewood for the house."

"Okay, It's starting to get late though"

Rick looks out the open barn door and up at the sky. "It'll be okay we still have some time left before it gets too dark"

The three men walk through the woods towards the clearing where they keep the firewood. Rick and Shane walk side by side with Randall shortly behind them.

"You guys tried to kill me what changed?" Randall says as he stumbles along, his leg still injured from being impaled on a fence.

"We lost one of our own. Someone in the group who was special to all of us." Rick says

"Man, I'm real sorry to hear that." Randall says limping

"Just hush up." Shane says angrily. "If you run, if you scream, if you so much as flinch I'll kill you."

"I'm telling ya, you guys won't regret this. I can tell y'all are a good bunch of people. I'll try real hard to fit in. I would never do anything to hurt anyone."" Randall says, his southern accent thick.

"Yeah you said that." Shane says

"Shane settle down." Rick says calmly scolding Shane

"Aw man not again, Look I'm telling ya you guys don't even need to fight. I'm a good guy I swear. You're making the right choice to keep me here." Randall says sweetly

"Shut up!" Rick and Shane finally say in unison

Randall finally quiets down allowing Rick and Shane talk alone for a bit

"Shane, I had a talk with Carl just like you told me to."

"Yeah, and?"

"Well, I told him that eventually people are gonna die, his Mom's gonna die, I'm gonna die. And I gave him the gun."

"I'm glad you talked to him, Rick. I was gonna do it but I figured he was better off hearin it from you."

"I know.. I guess I've just been avoiding everything cuz I didn't wanna deal with it."

"Deal with what?"

"Everything….responsibilities….I wish life could just go back to the way it was when we used to hang out in the squad car and eat cheeseburgers and fries."

"Oh man my whole mouth just filled up with saliva when you said that buddy." Shane jokes as both men laugh.

Rick stops walking and looks at his friend, "You always manage to make me laugh, that's what I love about you."

Shane looks at his friend quietly and gives him a perceptive smile that lets Rick know he understands and accepts his gratitude.

"Shane, we never had a chance to talk about it. But that day when I showed up at the Atlanta camp with Glen and I saw you, I knew it was a miracle that we both survived this. I mean, what are the odds?"

"I know that's something aint it?"

"I know what you did for Lori and Carl. Kept them safe while I was gone. Thank you for that."

"Hell, you don't have to thank me for that Rick. Consider it a freebie." The two men laugh as Rick slaps his best friend on the back.

They continue walking and Rick gets serious. "And what you did for Carl. Shane I owe you Carl's life I don't know how I can ever repay you."

As they walk they finally exit the woods and enter the clearing. Shane stops walking and turns to his best friend

"Rick, you know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I have the worst guilt about sleeping with Lori."

"Shane don't you feel guilty about that. I told you I forgive you for that and I will always forgive you."

Shane eyes well up with tears. "I know it's just…" He hangs his head down, "I thought you were dead man. I thought I had lost you forever."

Rick reaches out and pulls Shane in towards him. He hugs his friend tightly. "Shhh it's okay buddy I'm alive man I'm not going anywhere. We found each other now."

Shane wraps his arms around Rick and hugs him tightly. Shane pats Rick on the back several times. He slowly pulls away and looks in Rick's eyes. "We did didn't we?" Rick smiles.

"Rick I don't wanna fight anymore. Let's make a pact"

"Aren't we supposed to be here for firewood or something?" Randall chimes in

Rick and Shane look at each other. "Yeah we are, here hold out your arms." Rick says as Randall complies. Shane holds out his arms as well.

"He seems like a good kid." Rick says as he places a block of wood in Shane's outstretched arms. Talking about Randall as if he wasn't there.

"All right fine he does seem like a good kid. But that doesn't change the fact that we need to be careful." Shane says whispering. "You wanna keep Lori and Carl safe don't you?"

"Of course I do but we gotta let our guard down sometimes, Shane. I mean I feel like the burden of civilization is on us. How we treat other people outside our group matters."

Shane gives Rick a grumpy look. "Come on let's go it's getting dark out here." He finally says


End file.
